This is an open letter to all the bullies I’ve had throughout secondary school, college and university. This is something I’ve bottled up for a few years and finally feel like I can write it down. This is basically me pouring out my heart, thoughts and feelings so if you don’t have anything nice to say then please leave.
To All The Bullies In My Life, This Letter Is For You
You ruined me, you tormented and crushed my spirit and made me hate life. You pushed me to isolating myself and from not wanting to go to social events and to my place of education for fear of being humiliated.
I wasn’t an angel, I was a bit sarcastic and a nerd in many ways but I didn’t deserve the “banter” and the abuse I got, not only in person but that I got via social media. I got it on Facebook and MySpace but also through Formspring. Formspring was the question and answer site you guys loved so much and the amount of abuse you put me through would now be classed as cyber bullying.
You made me hate myself, you made me get so depressed I slit my wrists and I had thoughts of suicide more than once. You made me such an anxious mess I hated all my years of education and I hated myself for being me. I would never wish anyone to feel like I did. Teenage years are meant to fun and carefree but mine weren’t and that’s because of you.
Most of you have children now, I see you walking down the street or coming into my place of work and you always smile and say hello to me like nothing happened. You wouldn’t want your children to go through what I did, believe me and sorry can go a long way even 10 years later.
You see me now and act like you weren’t a bully to me and that we were best friends. Many of you tried to friend me when I fell pregnant and of course I declined as most of you just wanted the gossip. You tried again when I got pregnant the second time and you tried once again when I got engaged. I don’t plan to add any of you into my inner circle as it has taken me 9 years to rebuild myself and I will not risk you bringing me back down.
I hope you never have to go through what you did to me. I hope your children are nicer and better mannered than you and I hope to God that they don’t become the bully.
I hope your children lead happy lives and never get bullied especially through social media as it can be isolating and it can feel like your world is crumbling. I hope I don’t have to open the paper one day and see a story about your child being bullied or that something worse has happened.
I hope you raise nice and caring children.
If you had asked me at the time I would said I hope you go to hell but now I just hope you regret it and that you feel as sh*t as you made me feel every damn day. I hope you realise what an awful person you were and that it wasn’t “Banter” or “Just a laugh” and that you ruined my teenage years.
It’s taken nearly 10 years to get back my confidence and make new friends and trust people again.
I moved away to get my new start at university and all it did was remind me just how cruel people are and the bullying started again due to social media. I hope you realise what you did wrong and I hope you now realise that whatever you put online can haunt that person for years.
I am raising my sons’ and step children not to bully and that we don’t stand for bullying and I will not let anyone ruin their childhood like you ruined mine.
I am a stronger person now but it’s no thanks to you. It’s thanks to my true friends and my family.
Just remember it doesn’t cost you anything to be kind and the word sorry goes a long way.
If I see you in the street I’ll always be kind because I was raised that way but believe me an apology goes a long way even after all these years.
You know where to find if you want to clear the air.