It seems to be the thing lately to share your birth story but mine isn’t exactly the easiest. It has been hidden away on my blog for so long that I thought it was time to post it proudly. Welcome to Ethan’s birth and nicu story….
2nd November 2012
I’ve never been so scared as to when they told me they were taking me round to labour ward, I didn’t have my hospital bag or my mum, I had my sons nan and my purse and that’s it. I left my house saying I’ll be home in a few hours I’ll be fine.The beeping and the heart beat monitors still haunt me to this day, my poor baby boy in distress for no reason. The doctors talking in hush tones, writing notes, doing checks, they were the longest 8 hours of my life and I couldn’t even hold my baby boy. The smell of the theatre made me feel queasy and the tears running down my face have made me age about ten years. The stress, the tears, the worry, the medicine all taking effort
My Hero, My Rock, My Knight In Armour, My Mum
I’ll never be able to pay her back for the amount of support she gave me that day when she arrived at 6pm. We were in theatre by 6.30pm she was scrubbed up looking like something out of ER and I was under the knife by 7pm.
Whoever said ‘expect the unexpected’ was right this time. My birthing plan all in the bin, my brain a mess, the nursery not ready, the empty car seat sat at home, the nicu bed waiting for Ethan.
The worst feeling in the world is being on that ward without your baby surrounded by others who were allowed to change their babies, hold them, feed them and worst of all take them home. The morning of 3/11/2012 was when I first laid eyes on my little boy and I wanted to cry he was so small and delicate I thought he might break. I had so many questions when I laid on the ward but now I just couldn’t bring myself to ask any of them as I didn’t want to take my eyes off him. He was my little boy weighing in at 3lb 14oz.
None of his clothes fitted him and they told me not to bother with premmie clothes as he would grow too quick. I visited every day for a few hours at a time, I couldn’t stay there all the time like the other parents did as I got too upset and was in too much pain. I got discharged and sent home on the 4th November (my mums birthday) and that was a bittersweet day as I had to leave my baby behind. We were in separate towns/counties from that day onwards until he came home. They say after a c section to rest for 8 weeks but the very next day I was getting lifts up there to see my boy no matter how much I had to beg.
Once I was told I could hold him I couldn’t stop smiling but he was so small and I was so scared to hold him but I knew he needed the mummy time and it didn’t happen often enough in the nicu as the nurses would have to get him out for me. My time in the first nicu room was a bit of a blur I was in there less than a week from what I can remember but that week seemed like a lifetime. Then the day came I walked in and his incubator wasn’t there and my world crashed around me.
By the time it was 10/11/2012 he was moved to special care baby unit next door. This was a step closer to home and we all knew this he meant he was one step closer to being a “normal” baby but they say don’t expect them home before their due date so I knew I had a long time to go!
Week of 5/11/12
Due date 26/12/12
Ethan Charles Dittrich 2/11/2012 7.24pm 3lb 14oz